My boyfriend left yesterday to go back to the big ol' city and if I didn't feel so overflowing with love, I would feel devastated. Maybe I know I feel devastated somewhere deep inside, but he has such faith in our love and our relationship that even when I feel we struggled all week to communicate and connect, it took less than a one hour conversation - me bringing up all the feelings I have kept inside all week during our phone conversations and texts - for him to shrug and say he loves me. Really? To him, our disagreements are so minimal and to me, each painful comment is a knife in my heart. I find it so refreshing that no matter what we go through he is so calm about the whole thing. He always knows we are good. One thing to look forward to is learning this technique from him.
This song must have something to do with the way I feel -
Carrie Underwood, I Unapologize
Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven
by Susan Jane Gillman
The day went so well at first. I rented a bicycle and went to the Grand Hotel Beijing and had tea okay? Proper tea like they might serve at the Plaza. They serve it with cream and gingerbread, and you sit in western chairs and listen to classical music, and it's clean and warm and quiet and it feels so civilized. Civilized and elegant, no one is spitting. Nobody's frying vegetables in the gutter. And the waiter speak English. And then? Then I biked over to the Main Post Office, by Tiananmen, and put in a collect call to home.
While I waited, a thick mist drifted in and around me. The top of the wall disappeared, which was just as well. When you're tired and scared, thirty feet looks about the length of a football fields, and that can be pretty demoralizing. Scaling a wall happens one foothold and one handhold at a time. Thinking beyond that can weaken your resolve, and it's your will that gets you to the top as much as your muscles and climbing skills. 
I rented the new Footloose and though I enjoyed it, it wasn't as good as the original. All the characters I preferred from the first one even the preacher, but Dennis Quaid was good. I absolutely love Willis!
Sitting here in bed trying to think of one of the songs I have Shazam'd in the past couple of days. There have been more than a few. Meanwhile this song is rotating around in my thick skull.
An incredibly beautiful song played during the Oscars that falls in the background. My niece used to sing this when she was younger. I think they sang it in a class when she was in elementary school. I just remember her cute Minnie Mouse voice singing this.
Coop
Reading a really fantastic book right now and so many more I want to check out from work, but with inventory I cannot. I am so excited for Butterfly Clues by Kate Ellison and Fever by Lauren DeStefano and The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M Danforth. OMG the list goes on and on.
When The Lights Go Down In the City by Journey
"Here we had this incredible tool at our disposal with the Internet. We had search. We had wikis. We had all the social networking tools. We had micro-lending and personalized charity. But poverty wasn't going away. If anything, the internet was widening the gap between rich and poor."
Harvey Danger, I'm Not Sick, but I'm Not Well -
The french chefs always gave me a hard time for being slow, but I would rather be slow and get it right. But they were always on my bollucks anyway. About three months in, there was a terrible scene involving a plate of ravioli. The ravioli in question were more like dim sum - made without an egg yolk. Robuchon got a hold of the plate, and threw it at me. It hit the side of my face. My ear was blocked with hot food, my face was burnt, and there was ravioli all over the place.
This song is on constant loop on my itunes. It is really sad and I can understand the love and loss she feels in this song, even with the amazing relationship I am in. It is just such a hauntingly beautiful song.
