Yoga and the Scowl-ey face

I am about 30 minutes out from my favorite class of the week - All levels yoga. This class is so wonderful for so many reasons.

It is the one class where we work on the wood floor, so doing any standing poses is easier than the carpet, bounce floor that they use for ballet and the other yoga classes.

The first 20 minutes or so is pure breathing and slow moving poses. It can be killer to hold a pose, but at the same time I take really long breaths so there are times I have trouble keeping up. But not for the first part of this class. It is built for me. I can really stretch in to each pose and perfect my technique.

We have a ton of bodies in this class so the energy level is so brilliantly positive. It's like a body of it's own. If I am struggling to focus, I can listen to others breathing in and out to help center me. If I can't remember what the pose is that he called out, I can casually look up and see so many people around me doing it.

All levels so I get to see some really spectacular poses that I have yet to be able to do like crazy head stands, but if I am tired or struggling with a pose I can do the easier version too.

It is an hour and a half so there is more than enough time to really do some serious yoga. Some classes I feel go too fast and I don't get a full relaxation time.

I love our instructor because he actually does the class with us. I have some instructors that just teach it, which is fine, but as a person who can have trouble hearing it helps to be able to see the pose. I also am a fan of good posture, so seeing a professional do the pose can help me perfect my own ability.

I leave dripping in sweat. (ew I know) It is such a good workout, inside and out. I get the full time to just be inside my own body. I leave all my cares behind and just breathe. Work through the anger and frustration that has built up. It is completely and utterly my time.

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We had a new instructor in this class. Right after I wrote the post. Figures.

At first I didn't really care for her. She was very informal, talking during the entire class which I am sorry, I go to yoga to block out all the voices. She also used the formal yoga names which I don't know yet so I had to pause while I waited for others to indicate what the pose was. After a bit though, I got used to her. She is trying to lighten up the class, but keep it focused. It was good. I actually laughed during the class and still had a solid workout. She told a great story while we were holding the goddess pose.

The goddess pose to me is like wall sits when I was a swimmer. They suck and yet I love them. They hurt like hell, but I love the concentration it takes to do them. I feel stronger just knowing I can do them. She had us hold the pose for about five minutes. TWICE!

Here's her story:

She was already having a rough day, running late when someone pulled out in front of her while she was driving. They then proceeded to slow down. She rode their bumper, but they would not speed up. She tried to get around, but there were too many cars. Meanwhile she is screaming inside her car, so upset. She finally is able to get around the car and gets caught at a red light. Not only did they cut her off, now she missed the light. Well, she pulls up next to them to she thinks, I'll show them! She stops, turns and prepares to give the other driver her "Scowl-ey" face only to realize the other driver . . . is one of her yoga students!

This was a great story to give during our class as we were focusing on our facial muscles and how we project ourselves into the world. What type of message is our face sending others. I like this because I have TMJ so focusing on my face is important. Am I clenching my jaw? Is my jaw relaxed and my tongue touching the roof of my mouth? And hello, wrinkles come from unhappy facial expressions!

Namaste for TWO

I walk into Yoga class and as I am stretching and breathing and getting into the whole, "I am now in yoga class so focus" mental routine. In waddles (I am so sorry, but really) a pregnant woman. And not just a little baby bump, I am talking about a couple of watermelons (again extremely sorry to all preggers ladies). It is just she had the belly on her.

All through class, here I am trying in vain to stand on my left foot, hold my right foot and then stretch my right foot out in front. My balance is getting way better, but my legs just do not want to extend. I hear some twittering behind me, enough to kill a little harmony, so I stop and turn. This pregnant woman has the most serene look on her face and not only is she doing the stand perfectly, but with her eyes closed.

Have you ever tried to stand on one foot and then do it with your eyes closed??? HUGE DIFFERENCE and way harder, I might add.

Then we did this thing where we did downward dog against the wall, heels to the baseboard and pushed our feet up the wall so that one foot in on the baseboard and the other is inching it's way up the wall forcing us to hold our downward dog hands while balancing on the one foot. I was doing really well with my first foot, then I come down and see our pregnant lady is all the way against the wall, belly to the wall, peeps. GASP! She's so flexible. This is when I hear a few, "I can't even do that for one, let alone two!"

Now, I love that this woman came to our class. I DO! Swear! I love even more that she was able to inspire me and make me realize that pregnant woman CAN do real yoga. I'll be honest, I thought it was yoga based on birth and whatnot. NOPE! These ladies are serious.

The Massage from Hell

I have been working my Yoga practice like I am training for a yoga marathon. Fact is, I love this type of yoga. I get so excited during class that I work my butt off. Literally. I have sweat dripping down my forehead during class. I feel refreshed and renewed after each class.

Then I had this one class recently and for some odd reason I felt like I was in a boxing match with demons on my mat. I was sweating. I was struggling to breath correctly. I hurt and I wanted to cry. I was tired. I just felt like everything I did was so much effort. Until one pose I felt something twinge and my feet started to go to sleep. You know, that pins and needles things. It was weird. Here I am trying to stand on one leg in tree position and my foot is literally asleep. Have you ever tried to stand when your foot is asleep? What about standing on one leg? It's quite hard, I'll tell you.

My feet never really woke up after that. I did quickly cut back and not push myself as hard, since the whole feet asleep thing does slow me down. I walked out of that class with rubber legs. I felt like I was picking up each foot and putting it in place, just so I could walk. I went home thinking I would feel much better after a good nights sleep.

NOPE!

I woke up with tingly feet still. Very weird to try and walk when my feet felt so well, non-existent. They felt like they were fading, disappearing. I didn't have a choice. I went to work like that. I did get a chance to call my dad, who is very knowledgeable in this sort of thing and he said to ice/heat and stretch. But after a day and a half of this, I was ready to see a doctor. Then a friend of mine said how great she felt from a morning massage.

LIGHT BULB!

I went straight back and made an appointment for one. Maybe this would save me a trip to the doctor's office. Or . . . it could be the death of me.

I made sure at my massage they knew why I was there - possible pinched nerve in my lower back. If anything, I would not let them just ignore that. They then suggested a type of icy/hot procedure they could use. Yes! Sign me up. I love icy/hot and if Saint lived here, he would have been doing that to me every night since my yoga twinge. The masseuse started me on my back and rubbed my shoulder blades and neck. Can I just say, that HOLY COW I HOLD A LOT OF TENSION IN MY SHOULDERS! Whew! Okay got that out. Then she did some cool pulling of my arms and rolling me in half to crack and stretch my back. Yum! Felt really good. Then she had me flip over onto my stomach.

DIGRESSION: Does anyone else feel a little odd being naked, alone in a dark room with a total stranger? Or is it just me?

Ahem. That said, I flipped over and the massage began on my back. Oh yes, did your palms into my back muscles and push as you slide your palms down the ridges of my tense back muscles. Oh sorry, it was just really nice.

When she got to my legs, I knew this is where I really needed the massage, but what I didn't expect was to have sounds coming out of me like a horrible B porn movie. As she slide her forearms over my calves, from top to bottom -

OOOOOOOOHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOD!

When she pushed on my thighs and rolled down the muscle -

OOOOOOOOOWWWW!

When she touched and pushed on my arch -

HOLY CRAP that's a 10! (the masseuse wanted me to tell her if the pain went above a 7) That's a 10!!!

Then I started giggling because seriously I really hoped no one could hear me. Which then in turn, made the masseuse start laughing. It was fun. Even if it hurt like hell.

Apparently, I had knots in my calves, and thighs so tight they were like a rock. Oh, and one in the arch of my foot.

Hey I am a star pupil when it comes to doing yoga with my toes in the air. Try it! It really does make stabilization easier.

To say the least, I had a really fun time with the masseuse. She was a kick and seemed to know exactly what she was doing. I felt great when I left. And the morning after, I still feel pretty darn good.

Namaste

I am hooked.

I have taken three classes of Anusara Yoga and cannot get enough. It is right up my alley. They talk about positive attitudes, energy, trust and heart. I love the fact that for one hour a couple times a week I can go and listen to five minutes of my instructor speaking (called centering) of remembering why I am taking yoga and thanking myself and those who allow me to attend. For one hour, I can devote to myself all the attention and emotion I feel working out as if I were running full speed and yet, I am working within the space of my yoga mat. I love the deep breathing and meditative feelings. I cannot get over the hum of energy that fills the room while the class is happening. I feel so in tune with it all. I am still getting used to the bells and the "OM", but I simply feel inspired when at the end of class, during rest, my teacher sings some song and plays what looks like a piano/accordion.

The name itself, Anusara, means "flowing with grace" or "flowing with nature" or "flowing with your heart."

Not to mention I get quite the workout. The past class there was only a few students, which I was thankful for - the less people to embarrass myself in front of (not that anyone even knows I am there), but I entered "rest" with sweat dripping down my forehead. It was my very first Vinyasa class where we continue to move (or flow) through all the positions. I had up to that point, only been to instructional classes and though my instructor assured me I would be fine, the nervousness didn't recede. I was very proud of myself because not only did I try all the positions, there was only one that I just couldn't get. That is one thing I really like too - my instructor is constantly saying, just give it a try. I cannot stand and hold my foot in my hand while straightening my foot in front of me and then holding my other hand out to the side. I just don't have the stretching ability yet in my legs. Oddly, I don't get frustrated with myself because of it.

(picture courtesy of yogajournal.com)

I truly enjoy working my body into positions my mind says - Nope that's not gonna happen. I love moving, flexing, stretching and then holding for a few breaths. Just enough to relax and feel the full weight of the movement. All of this is done while breathing in . . . and out. It is almost like I am dancing with myself. Only my two left feet have disappeared and I am graceful. I am thankful that my teacher is so wonderful and takes the time to subtly help me improve my position posture. I can feel the difference when I am holding a pose correctly.

After just a few classes, my everyday standing posture has taken a remarkable turn for the better. I feel better too.

On the other hand, my body is sore. Especially in my legs and hamstrings. My stretching abilities throughout my legs has never been very good, but I like yoga so much I refuse to give up or not do it fully. I know my legs will stretch on their own.

Ever since my car accident years ago that broke my wrist it has been very difficult to perform certain things like push ups or in yoga class holding the plank pose, but the method that we use in yoga is different. It doesn't create the same pain, though it is sore. The movements and position holds also seems to relieve the pressure that I generally attain throughout my shoulder blades and eventually acting up my TMJ. The strengthening is nothing like I have ever experienced. The muscles I am feeling are oddly ones I don't remember ever feeling throughout my core - stomach, back, thighs and other such (unmentionable) nether regions. (seriously, who knew I had muscles THERE?)

I am very excited. I cannot wait to see what I feel like, what I look like after a few months of this. Not to mention, I feel so blessed to have found a place that I enjoy so immensely.

We talk alot about what our expectations are and what we are hoping to get out of yoga. What is my focus. It's funny because in life there isn't much out there that I don't have goals for. I am such a determined little soul always searching for the correct way, the better way to experience life. I am nothing but (overly) focused. I went in to this yoga class thinking that maybe, just this class, I could experience what it is like to NOT have any goals. Or rather, for my goal to be just simply TO BE. I think that is where life is taking me right now. To live in the here and now. Experience the presence and not be so caught up in what happened recently (past) or what I will need to prepare for (future). Live right here, right now in what I am doing in the current seconds of my life. Obviously a bonus would be to have better posture; be stronger in mind, body and soul, to feel refreshed and calm; to be happy; to allow myself a couple hours every week to be just me doing what I want which is choosing yoga. (see how easy it is for me to set goals and become determined to ACCOMPLISH it all at once?)

Downward facing dog

Attended my first yoga class at the local gym and of course, loved it!

I have taken yoga at home before (as I have practiced, in my own manner, P90x) and I really enjoy it, but as moving to a new city can bring on the agoraphobia tendencies, I decided to GO OUT to workout. It gives me another excuse to meet people, or maybe just be around people. Not that I don't get enough of people at work, but it is different, I am different, in a relaxed setting.

Who knows, maybe I will meet some friends. Or just people I can talk to for the five minutes before and after class. That would be okay too.

I got there - a tiny bit late because I left my gym pass at home. Yes, we all roll our eyes. Hey people, it was in my hands when I left, but I had to go back and found it lying on the garage floor. I dropped it on my way out. Easy mistake.

I kicked off my shoes and socks and hung my jacket (yes, it is 6 degrees outside, I had a jacket on) and then quickly threw a mat on the floor and tried to breath like I had been there for the past five minutes. Surprisingly, it didn't take that long to get comfortable.

I am okay with almost all the basic yoga poses, except for one. TREE. I can completely fake the balance thing throughout all of yoga, but for the damn tree pose. For those not familiar with tree, stand with feet shoulder width apart, place one foot on the ankle of the other and then raise my arms out to my side and up at a 45 degree angle. Basically stand on one foot and then put my hands up. The really good yoga peeps can put their foot all the way up into their crotch.

I've tried it all - close my eyes; focus on a non-moving object; stare at myself in the mirror. I can't seem to do it for more than a second. Though tonight I figured out I last longer if I start on my left foot. Apparently, I am strong with that side and then I can manage the other side okay. It is really hard to be the one to trip others up too. The class is so peaceful, then to see someone (me) go wobbly (in the mirror) and then fall usually results in a few others, then more til the entire class has lost its balance. Hey, welcome not only the late comer, but the one with no balance. Teehee

I like that this class looks like many people around my age - above and below. I liked that this class has women of all sizes and shapes. I feel like I fit in well. They all seemed smiley, talkative and nice.

I have noticed, not so subtly that my body has changed quite a bit since I moved here. It could be that I turned 32 this year. It could be that I am eating what I want, when I want, with very few restrictions or stopping of myself. It could be that I haven't worked out in oh, geez I don't know how long. It could be that we sell Godiva chocolates at work and I have realized how easy it is to go and buy a bar. It could be that I have developed a small routine of oatmeal at home and then a coffee and scone for a mid morning snack. It could be that I have holed up a bit since I moved to a city where I don't know anyone and feel a little home sick.

I am trying to do better. I am trying to cut down on the sweets. I am trying to work fruit and veggies in my diet. I am trying to get out a little each week and walk or be around people. I am trying to do some meditative breathing. I am trying to work in positive thinking or positive visualization time.

But oh, it is so hard.

So, I joined this gym and this class.

And you know what?

It's a good feeling.

I left in tune with not only my body and my breathing, but with the city, the class and wow, is there more?

Then promptly froze my a** off while running (yes, running or more like sprinting) to my car in the 6 degree weather and wind that felt like it would tear the flesh right off my skin.