A childs playground for adults

There is only one place that one can choose - not only choose, but call weeks ahead in order to possibly attain an appointment. Only to go, pay, then wait for twenty minutes (if I am lucky, but more likely forty minutes) only to be called again which makes me leap up in excitement that I was called "Oh, yes, Heidi, that's me!!" Only to be led through multiple wings with random plain colored doors and made to weigh myself then led into another waiting room where I am poked and prodded for things like blood pressure and temperature.

I am left to my own devices for another twenty minutes (if I am lucky, but more likely forty minutes). Where after ten minutes, I turn into a child and get up and open drawers, look through and play with tongue depressors, thermometers, the mercury thingy on the wall. I change chairs. I look in depth at the poster on the wall depicting eyes, ears, nose and other miscellaneous body parts and their innards wondering which of the diseases depicted that I may or may not have.

After thirty minutes, I am told that the person I am coming to see, is not here yet, but I am in first in line WHEN they get here. Which makes me happy and relieved that at least I am first. But after another twenty minutes, I start to wonder - how do I really know I am first in line? I didn't even know they weren't here in the first place. The door is closed and even if I peek out (which I do) I won't see or hear anyone else because heaven knows where the nurses stand is after so many twists and turns.

I slink back into the room and sit, pondering why it is that I do this once a year (at least, if I am luck, but more likely two to three times a year). Why is it that I pay someone to sit and wait, sit and wait and then be poked and prodded and then given a prescription where I go and wait more.

When I least expect it, the magical person appears and I instantly remember why I come here, pay, wait and wait some more - because I like this doctor.

First time ever, I have walked out of a doctors office with a prescription of Valium.

Downward facing dog

Attended my first yoga class at the local gym and of course, loved it!

I have taken yoga at home before (as I have practiced, in my own manner, P90x) and I really enjoy it, but as moving to a new city can bring on the agoraphobia tendencies, I decided to GO OUT to workout. It gives me another excuse to meet people, or maybe just be around people. Not that I don't get enough of people at work, but it is different, I am different, in a relaxed setting.

Who knows, maybe I will meet some friends. Or just people I can talk to for the five minutes before and after class. That would be okay too.

I got there - a tiny bit late because I left my gym pass at home. Yes, we all roll our eyes. Hey people, it was in my hands when I left, but I had to go back and found it lying on the garage floor. I dropped it on my way out. Easy mistake.

I kicked off my shoes and socks and hung my jacket (yes, it is 6 degrees outside, I had a jacket on) and then quickly threw a mat on the floor and tried to breath like I had been there for the past five minutes. Surprisingly, it didn't take that long to get comfortable.

I am okay with almost all the basic yoga poses, except for one. TREE. I can completely fake the balance thing throughout all of yoga, but for the damn tree pose. For those not familiar with tree, stand with feet shoulder width apart, place one foot on the ankle of the other and then raise my arms out to my side and up at a 45 degree angle. Basically stand on one foot and then put my hands up. The really good yoga peeps can put their foot all the way up into their crotch.

I've tried it all - close my eyes; focus on a non-moving object; stare at myself in the mirror. I can't seem to do it for more than a second. Though tonight I figured out I last longer if I start on my left foot. Apparently, I am strong with that side and then I can manage the other side okay. It is really hard to be the one to trip others up too. The class is so peaceful, then to see someone (me) go wobbly (in the mirror) and then fall usually results in a few others, then more til the entire class has lost its balance. Hey, welcome not only the late comer, but the one with no balance. Teehee

I like that this class looks like many people around my age - above and below. I liked that this class has women of all sizes and shapes. I feel like I fit in well. They all seemed smiley, talkative and nice.

I have noticed, not so subtly that my body has changed quite a bit since I moved here. It could be that I turned 32 this year. It could be that I am eating what I want, when I want, with very few restrictions or stopping of myself. It could be that I haven't worked out in oh, geez I don't know how long. It could be that we sell Godiva chocolates at work and I have realized how easy it is to go and buy a bar. It could be that I have developed a small routine of oatmeal at home and then a coffee and scone for a mid morning snack. It could be that I have holed up a bit since I moved to a city where I don't know anyone and feel a little home sick.

I am trying to do better. I am trying to cut down on the sweets. I am trying to work fruit and veggies in my diet. I am trying to get out a little each week and walk or be around people. I am trying to do some meditative breathing. I am trying to work in positive thinking or positive visualization time.

But oh, it is so hard.

So, I joined this gym and this class.

And you know what?

It's a good feeling.

I left in tune with not only my body and my breathing, but with the city, the class and wow, is there more?

Then promptly froze my a** off while running (yes, running or more like sprinting) to my car in the 6 degree weather and wind that felt like it would tear the flesh right off my skin.

HOLY DEER!!

Tuesday wanted to go outside this morning. Sometimes when I have a bit of time I will let her out on the upstairs patio to hang out. AND boy does she hang FAR OUT onto the patio ledge to see all the animals that come to drink from the lake.

I was totally surprised this morning by seeing this -


There had to be about a dozen deer drinking and meandering about. I took a couple of quick shots then ran down the stairs, pulled the patio door open, but they were no longer there when I popped out to take more pictures.

Guess I am a little louder than I thought.

I cannot read minds

I know this is shocking to most people, but I cannot read minds.

Trust me, if I did, my entire life would be different.

People keep assuming that I do though. No other way around it.

This woman today came to me and was looking for a book on drama queen. I asked if that was the title.

No.

Hmm, so you are looking for a Nonfiction or Fiction book on drama queens?

No, just show me where you have books on drama queens.

Really? Do you really think next to Romance, Mystery, there is a section specific to Drama Queens? Odd. Okay, so I look it up. Let's humor her. The only thing that comes up is Fiction and Teen Fiction - shocker. Teens being drama queens.

I show her the teen stuff and she says, well I was looking for something more adult.

Okay, so did you want stuff on emotional drama queens, dressing like a drama queen? Could you be more specific? (I mean are you thinking like drama queens, like drag queens or theatrical queen that is dramatic???)

No

. . . . .

I have no idea what to do.

After some more searching on the computer, I finally found some things that were drama, literally, they were in Shakespeare. This lady seems to be going with this drama/theater thing. I walked her over to the section and picked out a few, then run like hell because I really didn't know what else to look for, BUT not before telling her if she doesn't find what she is looking for let us know and we can continue to look. (yes, I am a helpful SOB)

I find it so odd that people don't do any kind of research on things. You would not believe how many people come in and say, I am looking for that yellow book, you know that one that was on that table a little while ago. (I can usually answer this one though)

Or

They were talking about a book about a boy who dies but doesn't go to heaven - who is they??

Or

I don't know the author, but the title has "woman" in it.

I usually find it fun and entertaining to see if I can guess the book, but sometimes I just want to strangle people. My least favorite is when I quiz someone endlessly about a book and they consistently say, No I just want to look at the section. I take them to the section and they go, Oh, I was really hoping to find THIS book. WTF? You KNEW the book you were looking for after all? Now I have to go back to the computer and look it up because I hate to break it to you, but it's not as simple as being in Fiction section. The books are divvied up in all sorts of odd, but helpful sections amid sections amid more sections.

My favorite joke to play on people, when I am in a very playful mood, is someone comes up and says, I am looking for a book. I say, Ok and continue to look at them waiting for them to say what book it is because they didn't ask me a question yet. I mean really, you are in a bookstore and you are looking for a book - NO! - obvious much?? I don't do this very often because I have to hit just the right person for it to be fun and funny.

Wordless Wednesday - pancake poppers

(hershey kisses filling)

Wordless Wednesday

Link for pancake popper iron skillet

Rough kitty moment

Today I got to wrestle the little lion by tossing a half pill down her throat, closing the wild jaws and then holding her there while I kept her mouth clamped shut to make sure the pill went down. I was so happy, after the fourth try, that it was in her mouth, I kissed her little pink nose. She growled at me.

The holistic drops were making a very small difference, so with the advice of a very trustworthy family vet (and my real vet), I went and picked up the anxiety pills for her to take. I laughed hysterically when the vet assistant came out with a little tiny kitten to show me how to give my crazy lion a pill. He gave me pill hider treats which I was sure wouldn't work. He showed me how to hold her, to open the jaw, to close it and then to make sure the pill goes down. Again, I laughed because she is not calm or even close to relaxed. I will get good at it because I will be giving her these for three to six months depending on how long it takes for her to adjust the crazy noises and wild winds we experience here.

Just the other morning, she was jumping up on the bed and missed (or maybe psyched herself out halfway up) and fell. She fell wrong and her back foot was contorted in a very non-normal position. I immediately had a fit and started hyperventilating. She started to back up on three feet while the other, back foot, stuck out all weird. She was making this horrible noise and growling at the same time. Her foot was broken. I called Saint, but quickly realized he was at work. I then called my mom who transferred the phone to dad because she couldn't understand me. The moment I heard my dad's voice, I calmed down and realized I had to call the vet and possibly the emergency vet. By the time I got the vet's machine to leave a message I realized it was quiet.

Izabel was sitting normal and looking at me. Granted she wasn't moving, but she looked okay. I went downstairs to look up the emergency vet in the area since I had to leave a message on the vet's phone. While I was looking that up, the vet called. I walked up and saw Izabel sitting at the top of the stairs. I didn't get to see how she moved from the bedroom to the hallway. I explained the situation to the vet and she said I needed to figure to view her leg.

I sat down and pet her, she immediately got up and started talking to me. I could hear the panic in her little cat cry. But she was moving and putting weight on the leg. She was also favoring that leg. When I turned around, she ran down the stairs.

My jaw hit the floor.

Okay, her foot isn't broken. Emergency over.

At this point, the vet wanted me to observe her for an hour and then call if necessary.

I called work and told them I would be late. Then proceeded to sit within viewing distance of Izabel while reading.

She stared at me and I at her. But of course, she never moved.

She was shaking, like she was cold.

She just sat there with her tail underneath her. Looking at me. Shivering.

Poor thing.

I finally got up and petted her. I poured food in her bowl and she came around the corner. She was walking with a small limp. She seemed to be okay. I figured I would watch her over the next couple of days and see if I needed to take her in to the vet, but I felt she was fine.

Now, whenever she has to jump, no matter how short the jump is - she psyches herself out and misses every time. I am worried she will hurt herself while I am gone. Hell, I am worried she will hurt herself while I am here.

She is my baby. I have raised her since she was five weeks old. I can't imagine my life without her. Yes, she is crazy. Yes, she bites when scared or hurt or whatever. But she is mine and she needs me. And god help me, I love her with all my heart.

What are you reading??

I am currently reading Columbine by Dave Cullen and I really like it, but it is disturbing and heart breaking. At first the narration was very emotionless and didn't really pull me in, but once Cullen got the actual event, it all came together and just creates these incredible, hard-to-believe images. I just struggle with holding back tears along with the frustration and heart ache all must have felt.

Previously I read, Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver, which I loved, but it was about death, dying and high school girls being mean. And I read it way too fast. It is a Teen Fiction book, but I am finding that many teen fiction books are really good. I just wish they weren't such easy reads.

Before that, I Am Number Four which was FANTABULOUS, but had all that paranormal stuff that freaks my mind when it is late at night. I loved how different it was and not just your standard science fiction or vampire star crossed lovers. I cannot wait til the next book!

And before that I read, Water For Elephants, which I truly believe will be the book of the year - plus they are coming out with the movie. HA! It was simply stunning and I was riveted.



But I am at a loss as to what to read now. I would like to get away from all the paranormal, science fiction and maybe read something happy, but I am totally open for suggestions. I'd really love to read a great biography.

What are you reading?

What book have you read in the past that was so fabulous and you couldn't put down.