Diagnosis: Mental

My baby, the cat that a friend dropped off at my house a decade ago, when she was only five weeks old. The cat that I taught to use the litterbox as a toilet, not a bed. The cat that I bottle fed for a few weeks. The cat that ran full blast around the bedroom, doing somersaults off the walls. The cat that sleeps on my neck like a scarf and takes naps in shoes with her chin resting on the heel. The cat who loves Froot Loops and likes to perch herself on my shoulder and lick the milk as the spoon comes to my mouth. The cat who used to wake me up and (meow) talk me whenever she was feeling needy.

This is the cat that has given me problems since day one. She started out with Conjunctivitis in her right eye and it swelled shut. The cat who has had teeth extracted. The cat who can't seem to hit the litterbox no matter if I set her in it. The cat who likes to not eat, then eat so fast she vomits it all right back up. The cat who has serious redirected aggression and will bite me at the flip of a switch.

This cat, my baby, was diagnosed with a sickness just the other day.

It is official.

Finally.

A vet has found out what is wrong with her.

After a decade of dealing with her.

She is ----

MENTAL.

And I quote, that is what the vet has said.

I can't help but laugh because my family has been secretly calling her Sybil for a long time.

To cope with her "sickness" I have started her on a holistic set of drops that are to help with her mental anxiety. It is like healthy prozac. If this doesn't work, we go for the good stuff.

So far though, she seems to be doing much better since I started the drops. Though giving her the drops are kind of a pain.

Imagine a maine coon (about a 15 lb cat) with long hair with the personality and strength of a LION. I get to wait til she is unaware - finally eyes closing, while laying on the couch and then I pounce on her with my entire body, drops in the right hand and holding her jaw still in the left. I then squeeze that damn little drop bottle til I can't squeeze any longer and then I let her go and run like hell.

You think I am joking??

Not in the least. I will have to try and get this on video. It's has to be a million dollar winner.

It's great because there are moments where she sits there completely calm and takes her drops and there are times she turns into a WWF wrestler.

I used to have to give her eye medicine and it was very similar. My 14 niece does a great SNL type of rendition of me doing so.

5 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I have a cat that's like that. My Sugarplum, no joke...she'll be walking then she'll see someone and she'll flop down and then she'll roll on her belly.

A few seconds after you rub her belly..she goes for the kill...

We call it Stop Flop Roll Kill

This cat has serious issues but we love her.

E. said...

A Mental Cat? And that's the proper vetinary diagnosis? That is so funny.

Please get video of someome giving her the medication. I'm sure the world would love to see it. I know I would!

blueviolet said...

It makes sense, but yet it seems so odd!

Pepsi Breath said...

Mental Cats Anonymous -- I'm sure there's a chapter in your area.

Sorry! I shouldn't poke fun. Just saying she's not the only mental cat out there and you're not the only person owned by a cat to have to deal with a "special" feline. Hang in there!

jayayceeblog said...

That was a pretty good description of the process ... I can picture it. If you tape it, be sure to put the disclaimer on that no HUMANS were harmed in the making of this video! =D