damn me and my lack of memory

On those mornings when I have, once again forgotten to stop and get milk on the way home, I stand in the kitchen staring at the cupboards wondering what to have for breakfast because if only I was Samantha on Bewitched and could just wrinkle my nose a bit - VIOLA! - milk appears.

can you really kill someone with kindness?

There is this person I know, which I found out recently has been speaking ill of me behind my back doing so well at making me believe that they are my friend, and yet, it's obvious that they are not.


It definitely serves their purpose to be back stabbing because if something happens to me they will benefit, so it is in their best interest to do what they can to bring me down. And yet, I am not sure why they chose this avenue, rather than to help make me successful because in the end, it makes them successful too!?!?!?! But whatever, they suck!

I would love to confront this person. Okay, that is a lie. I don't like confrontation, but I would do it in this situation, but because the people who told me, said so under the strictest of confidence I cannot reveal their identity. It is a moot point to bring it up. I have no evidence. No one to back me up. I just know this is happening.

What else do I do?

I am really crappy at being mean. I am not one of those that thinks on my feet well. I get caught up in the feeling sentimental and sympathy for people. Because if they are mean obviously they are unhappy and maybe just need a friend.


This person is making things harder for me. Being horrible. This person is making me look bad. And here I sit wanting to be nice.

So what do I do?

My philosophy has always been to kill people with kindness.

If you are mean to me, I perk up my chipperness to the point where it annoys you. Can you think of someone who is so nice it makes you sick and you are like, this person is annoying, but eventually you find yourself smiling. See? That is how I get even.

Or I ignore you like the plague. Which really wouldn't help my situation here.

Thoughts? Ideas?

I can't very well higher a hit man, now can I?

Wordless Wednesday - kitty reception

Will I ever get tired of posting pics of these incredibly beautiful kitties??

Wordless Wednesday

happy birthday to me

Today is my 32nd birthday.

I had an absolutely fantastic time with Saint Sunday morning having breakfast. I then got some free time to go see the movie, Going the Distance (thumbs up!) and enjoyed a wonderfully peaceful lunch at Red Robin (thanks for the AWESOME birthday coupon for a free burger) while I read my current book, Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner and drank one of the BEST STRAWBERRY LEMONADES ever. This was all followed by a nice family dinner at Olive Garden where I think we all partook in the endless pasta bowls. My sister was in attendance which was the highlight for me. It has been a long time since we have relished in a real old fashioned family dinner with all of us present.

in my perfect world

I feel sick. Sick to my core. My stomach is so hollow, yet a large rock resides within it echoing around within so that when I feel the need to wretch it just aches like when you have twisted and squeezed to the point where there is nothing left and still the feeling, the needing, the aching to drain it all out doesn't stop.

I can feel my heart pounding so loudly against my chest it reverberates in every part of my body especially my head which is flooded like it has to swim through goo in order to process information.

My breathing feels laborious like at any moment I might take my last breath.

As I look around people are laughing and carrying on as if all is right in the world.

Here I stand, carrying on as well.

My strength astounds me. That I am able to put all of this aside and act normal. To portray the person I don't feel inside. Whether that is because of the numbness or the agony, so great that surviving is the only way to go, I wish I knew.

But I won't let them see me give in. I won't allow that to happen. I am stronger than even I give myself credit for.

Instead I hold my head high and act the performance of a lifetime because in my perfect world people that respect me as I respect them would not betray me like this.


I love this quote and saw it on a coffee mug in Starbucks today.

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, it became a beautiful butterfly.