HELOOOOO Christmas Eve

Reverb10 - Everything's Ok - What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

Woke up feeling a little like a kid on Christmas. Excitement is building.

Need to still make No Bake Cheesecake. Gotta go to the grocery store for milk and eggs. One more work shift. I have company coming over tonight. SAINT IS COMING HERE!!

It is absolutely amazing how hard it is to be away from him. And yet, it makes me realize just how good we will be together - or apart. I know that we can live together. I know that we can live apart. Not that I want to live apart, but sometimes life just gives you curve balls. My father is a sales guy and in the past has been gone most weekdays. I never wanted that in my life, but I realize that when you have that person; that guy that completes you and makes you better, it's okay. It's not great, but it is definitely okay. I hate to use these words, but it does all come back to being a WILLING and ABLE participant in the relationship.

When I am sad, he is able to help ease the pain. When I am gone, so far gone missing him, past reasonable, he knows to let me be. Let me work through the pain. I get the occasional text that says, "Hey I love you!" (go ahead, it's okay say Ahhhhh) He fills me in on how things are going with him. We get out our frustrations. Hell, he communicated more with my mother than I do. He took my 14 year old niece to look at Christmas lights and drink hot cocoa.

He just gets me and allows me to be me. He knows how important my family is to me and he enjoys being with them too.

Course I honestly know it has nothing to do with him. It is all me.

I made the choice awhile back to be who I am with him. It was easier than trying to woo him and then bam! here I am. I did that already and it doesn't work. I wanted to be able to ask for what I need and see how he handles it. I wanted to be able to be frustrated and unreasonable and helpless and see where he landed. And surprisingly, he passed every time. It may take him 10 minutes to process, but he gets it.

I also chose to let him be him. If he is annoying occasionally. Oh well, so am I. (and so on) But I also paid attention to the warning signals. We did have a pretty good argument a long time ago and I told him that what happened was a deal breaker. We talked it through and I realized something, I could set boundaries and he would do his damnest not to cross them. Wow, amazing to date someone who respects me and I respect myself enough to tell him.

So in essence, I never really knew WHEN it happened, but I do know HOW it happened. I chose to just be me and let the chips fall where they may. I have made mistakes in the past trying too hard to be perfect. No more. Saint gave me a quote frame that says, "Just be me. I can't screw it up."

The life lesson here, be me. Just be whoever it is I am.

It's like grooming my hair. If it wants to be crazy one day, let it be. Don't try to tame it because the minute I let my guard down it will pop up like Mary.

Reverb10 - New Name

Reverb10 - New name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

First thing that came to mind was a foreign name so that people wouldn't know I spoke English.

Sadly, I am a bit tired. Ok very tired. Overworked and I miss Saint and my family like crazy. I lost it two days ago when my landlady called and berrated me. I can't stand her. She makes me crazy. The tone in her voice is enough to turn this nice person (me) into a finger crunching, trying to find a hit man and takes all the good energy out of me.

Two more days of work and I will be off for two days. With Saint. And apparently, with my family, as Saint as worked out that we will be going to town for the day after Christmas. Which is good, yet, I was a bit looking forward to doing nothing, in my PJs with my man. A little cooking. A few movies. A bit of munching. Maybe a walk. Now I feel as if I will be running. But then again, I do get to see my family and I have missed them greatly. So, I am sure it will all be fine.

I can tell you one thing though, this kitty will NOT be getting up at 5am on Christmas morning. No matter how much Saint wants to open his present. (the man is a very early riser, as he works at 3am)

In high school spanish class, I always wanted to be Izabella because only the very pretty, very popular girls got that name. I always ended up choosing Lolita or Veronica. Sigh. I always wanted a really foreign, blessedly cool spanish name.

Honestly though, I love my name. I wouldn't ask for another. I know that sounds odd, but I don't think my mom could have picked a better name for me. Heidi just fits me, in all senses of the word and I gotta say I haven't met very many Heidi's. I like not having a name that is everywhere. But, I feel, it is memorable too. It's easy to say - well unless you are spanish and the H is silent (this is very funny, now that I think about it - you can't say my name in Spanish). It's easy to spell, except apparently no one else has read the book, seen the movie or the play. So honestly, it is just a good name for me and I like it. Fair enough?

PS: Happy Christmas Eve, eve

PPS: If you happen to be out shopping (haha) and run into someone who is working and not so friendly, give them a smile and say thank you (though you may want to yell at them) because maybe they are like me and have been working for the last eight days straight (and still have two more days left of work) and are a bit tired and a bit cranky. I'm just saying . . .

cookie carnage

Looking at this picture of leftover hershey kisses wrappers, I can't help but wonder what Martha Stewart would be able to craft out of the them.

I think it's crap that in order to bake these peanut butter hershey kisses cookies (AKA: peanut butter blossoms), I have to take the time to individually unwrap each of the damn kisses. Especially without my wingman. It takes twice as long because I have to eat every other one unwrapped. Or maybe I forgot to put it in the bowl instead of my mouth. It's unusual to unwrap and not eat.

I scooped the cookies on to the two separate baking sheets before hand to make sure I had enough room and was ready to swap out the cookies.

Sadly, my first baking sheet cookies were WAY TOO BIG and I will have to keep those and eat them. Heaven forbid someone sees that I messed up the first batch.

Luckily, I was able to half the second batch and make smaller, more acceptable looking cookies.

WHOOPS! I dropped this warm, moist, straight out of the oven cookie upside down on the counter. Had to use my finger to wipe up the melted chocolate and then eat the cookie in order to keep the counter clean.

Here are half of the ooey, gooey, wonderfully warm cookie remains.