I was abducted by aliens and they probed my eyes

On Tuesday, I had a surgery to implant contacts into my eyes called ICL. I wanted to have lasik, but I am not a good candidate because I have thin tissue and that is what they "lasik" to get the eye to reform.

I was freaking out a bit. I think the worst thing I could possibly think of in life is to be blind. Every thing I love to do is with my eyes - books, scrapbooking, photography, swimming, movies, etc. Not to mention I am afraid of the dark. As an adult, I have been able to get my fears under control, but at times I do still sleep with the light on and have that feeling when I turn off the hall light to "run like the devil is at my heels."

I kept telling myself that it is good. Nothing will go wrong. No worries. I love my doctor. I think he will do a top notch job.

Regardless, a very small piece of me is scared sh*tless. Without my glasses or contacts, I am considered legally blind xs3. Yes, that is correct TIMES 3! Which means I cannot see a thing. Thankfully, I have had good parents who always made sure I had nice looking glasses that had been expensively filed down and rounded to look thinner. As an adult, I have tried to remember what it was like as a child and make glasses and contacts something I know are important.

I have decided to make a list of all the reasons I hate wearing glasses and contacts.
  • people who do not wear glasses or contacts do not understand - imagine wearing your sunglasses all the time only you have to wear them, it's not optional, and they decide what you see and what you don't see. They cost minimum $200 each time, every year and contacts are $20-$60 every month, every year for the rest of your life.
  • they scratch
  • they smudge
  • they tear
  • they crease
  • they get dots (which on a contact on your eye is like having Saturn in front of you)
  • they get fingerprints on them
  • there is a reflection of blinding light regardless of whether or not I spent an additional $100 on reflective coating (but it's way worse if I don't get it - like not tinting your car and living on the face of the sun)
  • can't wear sunglasses and glasses at the same time
  • wearing prescription sunglasses, getting in to the store and then remember that your glasses are in the car
  • can't dye my hair, pluck my eyebrows, put make-up on or do anything with my face WHEN my glasses on
  • can't see in the shower without contacts - this means no shaving
  • if the wind blows my contacts get dirt in them and my eyes sting for hours
  • i wake up and have to put my eyes on or in
  • can't lay down and have glasses on (they move)
  • when I smile my glasses move a bit
  • if I tilt my head I can't see bc there are sides to the glasses
  • doing any kind of physical activity with glasses on makes it hard bc the glasses slide all over
  • I get smudges on my glasses when kissing
  • when I go on a plane I have to take my contacts and glasses carry-on with me
  • if I get close to a dog/puppy they inevitably lick the glasses
  • they are expensive
  • if I go from hot to cold weather, my glasses fog
  • when I steam clothes at work, my glasses fog occasionally
  • going to a water park with glasses or contacts is a nightmare
  • going anywhere with dust, dirt or grime is a nightmare
  • people automatically assume I am a nerd or uncool
  • taking out my contacts and realizing I have no idea where my glasses are
  • wearing a hat or headband with glasses is not going to happen and if so, it's uncomfortable
  • get headaches from the glasses arms resting on my ears
  • even though they say 30 day contacts, my eyes get tired after a week of wearing them
  • putting in contacts I touch my eyes and it doesn't always go well - if I have a towel fragment on my finger, wipe off the mirror to see and it gets dirt on my finger, drink out of my coffee mug and there is sugar on the handle BEFORE I put my contacts in
Coolest thing about the surgery, other than the fact that I will be able to see is I will be able to make implant jokes.


A day later, my right eye is perfect. I can see 20/20. My left eye has weird halos or reflective light depending on the light - dark, it's shadows; bright, it's spotlight type. But I can still see so incredibly well. My left eye is 20/15 - better than perfect!! And the light will fade as my eye recovers.

I woke up and rolled over to see the clock . . . on my microwave . . . in the kitchen. . . . over 15 feet away!! Miracles do come true.

It is crazy. When I came out of the surgery, still on anesthesia and saw my mother I started sobbing, "I can see you! and I can see that nurse over there - her face and her features so clearly!" Complete shock. I did get sick from the anesthesia well, mixed with the two things of apple juice I sucked down as fast as I could after the surgery, but I felt better the moment they were out of my stomach. Worth it!

The surgery was scary the entire time. I was awake. I remember it all. The lights and darkness. The shadows. The people talking, the music in the background. The pressure. It was all surreal. I imagine it was a bit like being abducted by aliens, but with a better outcome.

Post It Note Tuesday - eye surgery

What will you say with a post-it note?

Click on the post-it above to watch the video

the morning argument

Saint and I have been having this little thing about his alarms. Yes, that is plural - alarms.

He goes to work every morning around 330am. Sometimes earlier and sometimes later.

When we sleep at my place, I don't know that I even wake up when he leaves. Though he is so sweet to wake me up to say goodbye. Really, this is the most romantic thing. Sadly, I do this weird air kisses because my brain won't quite wake up. But I know when I wake up later that he said bye. Love it.

When we sleep at his place, I am awake before his alarm goes off. If not, I wake up after the first - slightly. Probably just enough to really wake up after the second. By the fourth, I am full blown awake and really want to just kick his ass out of bed so he falls on the floor. And then I imagine I would beat him with his two phones which contain the hateful alarms. I hate it!!

His alarms go off for a half hour. So starting around 230am, his alarms go off til after 3am. Then I am awake while he gets ready. Then I get up and get dressed so I can drive home and fall back asleep. I am way too awake to go back to sleep after all this. I lose about two hours when I sleep at his place.

I was telling him last night how funny love is. In the beginning, I would/could sleep anywhere, in any position with him. Now, over a year later, I can't even sleep in his bed well. There are many reasons for this -
  • he keeps his room door closed and the air is stagnant; it reeks of stale air
  • the temperature in his place is warmer than mine, considerably (I am guessing they do this so girls will take off their clothes when they come over - lol)
  • I don't have my body pillow at his place (a serious comfort thing for me)
  • mentally I know that it is not my place and therefore I don't know that I completely ever fall into a fitful sleep
  • I do not like sleeping at his place when I am alone; I sleep a bit better (or maybe have a better chance of sleeping) when his roommate is home because I feel more protected (not that anything will happen) once he leaves for work
The argument we have goes a bit like this -
  • Six alarms went off this morning.
  • No, I only have four alarms.
  • I am telling you, I was awake for all six. I counted. I think you are hitting snooze.
  • I don't hit snooze.
  • Well then somehow you have more than four alarms.
  • No, I really don't. I have four alarms set. Do you want me to show you?
And then it goes into the classes silence because I am not stupid and I watch him check his four alarms every night (OCD much? Oddly I find this attractive). Plus I know what he thinks, but the fact is he is not awake for the actual alarms going off. So his perception is way different. Not to mention, he is a scientist through and through. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck ---- seriously NO ONE will be able to tell him different.

To be completely honest, this really doesn't bother me. The whole alarm thing.

I am not a morning person and when I wake up - scratch that - when I get woken up and I don't feel like I slept well I AM CRANKY. I wake up and lay there waiting for him to get up and get ready so I can get up and go home to resume my sleep. It sucks. It is a long time to lay there wishing I was sleeping. It kinda pisses me off. I don't know why. Could it be, the man hits those damn alarms for over 30 minutes without caring that I am WIDE AWAKE? Maybe it's the fact that he can hit the alarm and fall instantly back to sleep whereas I take time to fall asleep.
One morning, I texted him after I woke up (officially) while he was at work and asked him if he still loved me after I argued with him til he was blue in the face. I feel bad that I provoke him and bicker with him, but I swear I am on autopilot. At three am, I pretty much do not have any control over my emotions.

His response, "It's okay. I am used to you in the morning."

Crap, HE HAS TO GET USED TO ME? Ugh, that isn't good. Definitely not a compliment.

Yet, I still don't seem to be able to let it go. This morning I literally woke up and laid there waiting to execute my line of "six alarms." Like a murderer plotting.

I am hateful in the morning. And apparently have no remorse until after 8am.