I cannot read minds

I know this is shocking to most people, but I cannot read minds.

Trust me, if I did, my entire life would be different.

People keep assuming that I do though. No other way around it.

This woman today came to me and was looking for a book on drama queen. I asked if that was the title.


Hmm, so you are looking for a Nonfiction or Fiction book on drama queens?

No, just show me where you have books on drama queens.

Really? Do you really think next to Romance, Mystery, there is a section specific to Drama Queens? Odd. Okay, so I look it up. Let's humor her. The only thing that comes up is Fiction and Teen Fiction - shocker. Teens being drama queens.

I show her the teen stuff and she says, well I was looking for something more adult.

Okay, so did you want stuff on emotional drama queens, dressing like a drama queen? Could you be more specific? (I mean are you thinking like drama queens, like drag queens or theatrical queen that is dramatic???)


. . . . .

I have no idea what to do.

After some more searching on the computer, I finally found some things that were drama, literally, they were in Shakespeare. This lady seems to be going with this drama/theater thing. I walked her over to the section and picked out a few, then run like hell because I really didn't know what else to look for, BUT not before telling her if she doesn't find what she is looking for let us know and we can continue to look. (yes, I am a helpful SOB)

I find it so odd that people don't do any kind of research on things. You would not believe how many people come in and say, I am looking for that yellow book, you know that one that was on that table a little while ago. (I can usually answer this one though)


They were talking about a book about a boy who dies but doesn't go to heaven - who is they??


I don't know the author, but the title has "woman" in it.

I usually find it fun and entertaining to see if I can guess the book, but sometimes I just want to strangle people. My least favorite is when I quiz someone endlessly about a book and they consistently say, No I just want to look at the section. I take them to the section and they go, Oh, I was really hoping to find THIS book. WTF? You KNEW the book you were looking for after all? Now I have to go back to the computer and look it up because I hate to break it to you, but it's not as simple as being in Fiction section. The books are divvied up in all sorts of odd, but helpful sections amid sections amid more sections.

My favorite joke to play on people, when I am in a very playful mood, is someone comes up and says, I am looking for a book. I say, Ok and continue to look at them waiting for them to say what book it is because they didn't ask me a question yet. I mean really, you are in a bookstore and you are looking for a book - NO! - obvious much?? I don't do this very often because I have to hit just the right person for it to be fun and funny.


Pepsi Breath said...

You could try perfecting the Vulcan mind meld perhaps....

jayayceeblog said...

OMG, you must have the patience of a saint! I'd either laugh or leap over the counter to kill them with my bare hands!