Reverb10: Friendship: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
I have been thinking about this reverb10 all day. To be completely honest, I really didn't know what to write because I haven't really had all that many friends, let alone friends that I do things with all the time. The few friends I do have, we keep in touch and we get together, but we all are busy and don't make as much time for each other as we could. No one to blame, just a fact. Maybe it's because I moved around alot when I was growing up. Maybe I hold people at a distance. Maybe after working in retail for thirteen years, I don't want to talk to people after hours. Or maybe it is just the way life works, people move on, people get busy. When we need each other, I believe we are there for each other. No worries there, but as far as really good close friends who change my life?
Hmmm ... not sure.
Sometime during the day, while stirring my heart out over a pot full of what hopes to be FUDGE, it dawned on me. My closest friend, the one I hold dearest to my heart and do everything with is MY MOTHER. Odd, right? Do other people have this type of relationship with their mothers? I don't know. Quite frankly I know I am lucky to even be able to profess this.
In the past, we haven't been so close. I can be very much like her - demanding, selfish, guilt-pusher. But we are human and working together for eight years forced us to either hate or love each other. Luckily we chose to love each other, but not by any easy means. We both opened up. We both chose to change and mold ourselves into better, more adaptable people.
Here I am, in another city, hours away from my best friend, stirring away like a fiend trying not to burn the damn fudge and I realized - fudge requires a wingman. My wingman has always been my mother. Or rather I am usually her wingman. It made me sad and yet, I am glad that I made the fudge because I felt closer to her. I spent the entire half hour (each flavor, one chocolate and another peanut butter) thinking of her and how much I love her. How many wonderful memories we have together.
Last week I jumped in the car on my day off and drove back into the city to see her (and Saint). After two hours together, she stopped, looked and me and exclaimed, "I don't think I've stopped talking this entire time. I think, I've missed you! I've missed this - being together." Hey mom, I do too!! It's so true. When my father can't find my mother, he calls my phone because usually we are together. We shop together, we grab lunch, we go to the bookstore, we run errands, we go to movies - geez you name it and we have probably done it.
My relationship with my mother made me realize that I can be the daughter, friend and (hopefully one day) a mother WITH her, beside her and we can coexist while still loving each other. Yes, we can both be very unreasonable people, but we have developed this way of being together where it doesn't matter. We both get each other.
No matter how many people come and go in my life. No matter how many friends I find and grow with. No matter where I live; who I live with. My mother and I will ALWAYS be the best of friends and I honestly couldn't ask for a better friend.