My boyfriend left yesterday to go back to the big ol' city and if I didn't feel so overflowing with love, I would feel devastated. Maybe I know I feel devastated somewhere deep inside, but he has such faith in our love and our relationship that even when I feel we struggled all week to communicate and connect, it took less than a one hour conversation - me bringing up all the feelings I have kept inside all week during our phone conversations and texts - for him to shrug and say he loves me. Really? To him, our disagreements are so minimal and to me, each painful comment is a knife in my heart. I find it so refreshing that no matter what we go through he is so calm about the whole thing. He always knows we are good. One thing to look forward to is learning this technique from him.
This song must have something to do with the way I feel -
Carrie Underwood, I Unapologize
by Susan Jane Gillman
The day went so well at first. I rented a bicycle and went to the Grand Hotel Beijing and had tea okay? Proper tea like they might serve at the Plaza. They serve it with cream and gingerbread, and you sit in western chairs and listen to classical music, and it's clean and warm and quiet and it feels so civilized. Civilized and elegant, no one is spitting. Nobody's frying vegetables in the gutter. And the waiter speak English. And then? Then I biked over to the Main Post Office, by Tiananmen, and put in a collect call to home.